In Memoir Of Child's Death, A Mother Seeks Meaning

Moving story.

When Emily Rapp first discovers that her 9-month-old son, Ronan, has Tay-Sachs, an incurable and fatal disease that gradually robs a child of his nervous system, she wets herself; the floor and walls of the doctor's office seem to melt and liquefy; and she thinks, "weirdly," about her son's namesake, a boy she once knew whose name she would write in longhand "like a lovesick teenager." She recalls Emily Dickinson's poem in which a mind has been cleaved beyond repair, and calls out for her mother.
Check out rest of the article on NPR

Link to book on amazon "The Still Point of the Turning World"

Shocking: Child on a flight (allegedly) slapped by a fellow passenger

There are a number of articles in the media about an infant allegedly slapped by a fellow passenger on a flight.

The toddler's mother, Jessica Bennett, told ABC News she was sitting in the aisle seat of  row 28, alongside Joe Hundley, 60, a stranger. Hundley, who is the president of an aircraft parts company in Idaho, then allegedly smacked Jonah, a child!

The incident is shocking for several reasons:

• Children can get stressed out more than adults and need love and care: having an adult stranger “slap” a child can be a traumatic experience
• Passengers, already stressed out by their travel may be aggravated by that of fellow. Many don’t have the heart or sense to step outside their comfort zone and help fellow passengers

Shocking as this recent incident is, it does not seem to be an isolated incident. My wife and I were reflecting on this incident during lunch. It has been over four years since we lost our baby while on an international flight. (ref eBook: a child lost in flight) Although fellow passengers on that flight were not as unruly as Mr. Hundley allegedly was, most weren’t sympathetic either.

Bottomline: Flying and travel is stressful even during best of times and more so when one is traveling with an infant or child

Links:

• Mom 'Scared to Death' After Stranger Allegedly Slapped Her Infant on Flight (GMA)
• Unruly flier, accused of slapping tot, now out of work (USA Today)
• Man charged with slapping crying boy, uttering racial slur on Delta flight (cnn)

Author interview of "A child lost in flight"

Author interview of "A child lost in flight" published online on Jessica Kong's blog "Sea-anan Empire"

What has been the most difficult part about being a writer?  The most difficult part of being a write is to get the word out. There are thousands of books published every day, many of them self published. Standing out from the crowd is getting harder, especially for novice authors.

When a mother sees her child die....

A really sad tale that no parent should have to live through....

In the private hell of a mother's grief, the sounds come back to Judy Neiman. The SUV door slamming. The slight bump as she backed up in the bank parking lot. The emergency room doctor's sobs as he said her 9-year-old daughter Sydnee, who previously had survived four open heart surgeries, would not make it this time.
Her own cries of: How could I have missed seeing her?

The 53-year-old woman has sentenced herself to go on living in the awful stillness of her West Richland, Wash., home, where she makes a plea for what she wants since she can't have Sydnee back: More steps taken by the government and automakers to help prevent parents from accidentally killing their children, as she did a year ago this month.

- Yahoo.com

Connecticut Elementary School Shooting: How To Help

After the mass shooting that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday, local mental health professionals and aid organizations are stepping forward to help those affected by the tragedy.

According to HuffingtonPost.com, a number of organizations are prepared to help with counseling services and bereavement therapy and funds have been set up to support the victims' families.

Find out how the area’s nonprofits are getting involved in the relief effort and how you can help:

Sandy Hook School Support Fund

United Way, a global nonprofit that works to improve families and individuals’ education, income stability and health, has set up the Sandy Hook School Support Fund through its Western Connecticut chapter. The fund will provide support services to the families that have been affected by the mass shooting. Donations can be mailed to: Sandy Hook School Support Fund c/o Newtown Savings Bank 39 Main Street, Newtown CT 06470 or submitted online: https://newtown.uwwesternct.org/

Danbury Hospital

Danbury hospital has partnered with other local counseling and mental health agencies within the community and is providing crisis intervention services 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Contribute here: https://1460.thankyou4caring.org/page.aspx?pid=298

Friends of the Engel Family Fund

Olivia Engel, 6, was shot and killed during the tragic Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. To help the family of the little girl who longtime family friend, Dan Merton, said "had perfect manners" and was the "teacher's pet, the line leader," supporters have set up the Friends of the Engel Family Fund.  

Sandy Hook Elementary School Victims Relief Fund

A former Sandy Hook student has set up the Sandy Hook Elementary School Victims Relief Fund in conjunction with Crowdrise, to raise funds for the victims, families and others affected by the tragic shooting. Donations will be directed to the Sandy Hook PTSA, according to the fundraising site.  Find out how you can get involved: http://www.crowdrise.com/SHSRelief

Newtown Memorial Fund

The Newtown Memorial Fund aims to help victims’ families pay for funeral costs, set up a community-wide memorial and a college scholarship fund for the students of the Newtown Public Schools. Find out how you can get involved: http://newtownmemorialfund.org/donate/ 

Emilie Parker Memorial Fund

Emilie Parker, 6, was one of 26 victims killed on Friday in the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School. To support Emilie’s parents, Robbie and Alissa, in paying for medical expenses, arranging for a funeral in Utah and taking off from work to spend time with family, friends and relatives have set up the Emilie Parker Memorial Fund. To donate via PayPal, use the email brookeprothero@yahoo.com.

Newtown Youth and Family Services 

Newtown Youth & Family Services, Inc., a nonprofit mental health clinic, will be open Saturday and Sunday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. for emergency counseling for families, community members or staff involved in the Sandy Hook 

Elementary school tragedy. All donations made to the organization will benefit those affected. Find out how you can help: http://www.newtownyouthandfamilyservices.org/donate.php 

Newtown Parent Connection

The Newtown Parent Connection, a nonprofit that addresses issues of substance abuse, also offers bereavement group counseling on the first Wednesday of every month. The organization told The Huffington Post that it’s going to try to bring in additional counselors to accommodate the needs of those affected by the Sandy Hook shooting. Find out how you can help: http://www.newtownparentconnection.org/money.html

Project Linus

Project Linus, a nonprofit that brings comfort to children in crisis, has arranged to send more than 700 warm, cozy handmade blankets to children affected by this latest shooting, according to an email sent to The Huffington Post. Find out how you can get involved: http://www.projectlinus.org/donations/ 

The American Red Cross

The American Red Cross of Connecticut provided more than 50 units of blood platelets and plasma to the Danbury Hospital, where some of the victims were transported, spokesperson Melanie Pipkin told the Huffington Post. The aid organization has also distributed food and water to first responders and is setting up a family reception center that will provide initial grief counseling. The aid organization is not seeking blood donations at this time and is asking supporters to reach out to the Sandy Hook School Support Fund. Find out how you can get involved: https://newtown.uwwesternct.org/

Support Family of Noah Pozner

Family members remember Noah Pozner, 6, -- one of 26 victims killed on Friday -- as “just a really lively, smart kid." According to a Facebook page set up in Noah’s memory, supporters can send letters of support to a friend who will deliver them to the family later this week. Cards can be mailed to: Friends of Maddie 1534 North Moorpark Road Suite 284 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

 

From Huffingtonpost .com

A dad’s experience in overcoming grief: Any lessons for parents and survivors of Connecticut school shooting?

It has been a terrible weekend for parents of young children and everyone who continues to come to grips with the terrible tragedy in Connecticut.

While nation continues to mourn the senseless loss of young lives, parents of the twenty young children continue the struggle to cope.

There seems to be a tremendous amount of public spotlight on the tragedy and outpouring of support at local and national level. Resources are being provided to ensure parents and other kids who survived the tragedy are able to cope. However, the media spotlight will soon fade and the fact is each of the parents will try and cope with grief in their own personal way.

Fathers, mothers and siblings will try and search for answers and find closure.

This weekend, I was reflecting on this tragedy briefly and also on how my wife and I tried to move ahead after we lost our infant son in an untimely manner. Parents may find other avenues to cope with the grief. A few articles from media:

• Support groups: Psychologists Jeff Gardere and Peggy Norwood joined HuffPost Live hosts Marc Lamont Hill and Abby Huntsman to discuss how those affected by Friday's deadly shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., Friday morning can begin coping with the tragedy. Gardere said that parents of children at the school need to use each other for support. 
• CNN Blogs: How parents can cope with fear? While the nation processes the horror and fights for change to help prevent anything like this happening ever again, we also need to find ways to handle the rush of emotions we’re feeling. How do you send your kids off to school and do your best to know they’ll be safe? For some answers, I spoke with clinical psychologist Paula Bloom.
• Dad speaks out after daughter slain at school : A father who lost his six-year-old daughter in the Connecticut school shooting broke down in tears, remembering her.

For me, writing about my experience was cathartic (ref book “a child lost in flight”).

From Los Angeles Times: It may not be possible to understand a tragedy like the shooting Friday in Newton, Conn., but parents can help their children cope with the fear and insecurity.
A number of resources are available.
Talking with Children about School Violence: Advice from the Lucy Daniels Center in North Carolina and tailored for children 11 years old or younger.
Talking to Kids about School Safety: Mental Health America also offers suggestions, along with a list of signs that indicate a child may need help.
Caring for Kids After Trauma, Disaster and Death: A Guide for Parents and Professionals: A report published by The New York Child Study Center (PDF).
Stopping School Violence: From The National Crime Prevention Council (PDF).
"Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers”: From the National Association of School Psychologists (PDF).
Talking to Children about Community Violence: advice from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
National Institute of Mental Health: A free booklet that describes what parents can do to help children and adolescents cope with violence and disasters.
PBS Parents: Tools for talking with kids of all ages about these difficult stories.
National Child Traumatic Stress Network: More tools for parents in the aftermath of a traumatic event.
Helping Children Regain Their Emotional Safety After a Tragedy: A guide produced by Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International.

 

Shocking news: Man kills 26 at Conn. school, including 20 kids

As father that has lost a child, my heart goes out to parents of #Connecticut #elementary school kids. 

Words cannot convey the grief over loss of a child. May the power above be with you and families. 

Will Connecticut school shooting spur gun control action?